I’ve never felt this hopeless

I am getting stressed out.

My finals are next week and I’ll probably end up with a 3.6 GPA, which is great.  However, I am nervous about getting into the business school.  Even though my grades and activities meet the standards, I am always anxious that the school won’t see anything in me.  A lot of business people are conservative and in fraternities, and I’m not.  I am just paranoid that people that don’t deserve to get in as much as me will take my spot. 

I think I will get into the Business School, but if I don’t, I don’t know what I will do.  I don’t want to major in anything else…it’s really stressful.

Also, all my friends came home from college today and I don’t come home for another 9 days.  It’s hard to be stressed and studying when I know that they are at home having fun.

afljadflgajfgl dfga

Rant over.

I wish I knew how to cry.

Just let one little tear come out.

But I can’t

After a long, stressful day at the library, I started walking back to my dorm. A middle-aged homeless woman in a wheelchair who had some apparent mental differences stopped and asked me where a building is. I recognized this women around campus before and I especially remember her appearing as if she is always lost and confused. After I gladly stopped to explain to her where the building was, she seemed thankful but she also looked a tad puzzled. Struggling to enunciate a few words, she asked me to take her there as it might be hard for her to find some wheelchair entrances. Although I knew I did have a lot of work to do back home, I took her there nonetheless. On the way there, we made small talk and introduced ourselves. She explained to me that she was going to a newspaper club for the homeless (even though she didn’t exactly know what it was called nor what room it was in). As we arrived to the scholastic building, I realized that there is no way she would be able to peruse the building by herself. After all, she couldn’t open the doors by herself and the set up of the building is extremely confusing. Accordingly, I helped her find her way through the building. During this new long “journey”, she stopped to ask me if I knew anyone who could spend time with her an hour a week. I responded, “Well, I don’t know anyone on the top of my mind, but I could surely spend time with you!” Her face lit up and we continued strolling through the hallways which seemed like a maze. Finally, we found the site of the meeting, and with a huge smile on her face, she said goodbye and went into the room. Now, I contently walked away. Sure, I could have used those 40 or so minutes to be studying and/or socializing, but this time with Susan was definitely not wasted. I helped someone with a very challenging life make their life not as difficult. Even though she did not physically say, “Thank you”, I still knew she was very happy. Heck, she didn’t even need to thank me: her life is tough enough. In fact, she helped me more than I helped her. As stressed out as I was, she helped me take a break and allowed me to partake in some casual conversation. People are constantly stressed about tiny little things, and we never take time to realize how good we have it. The woman, Susan, was in a wheel chair, could barely communicate, and didn’t even have a place to call home; however, she still seemed content and never complained. She doesn’t even have a home and she still managed to participate in some extracurricular activities. We can all learn a lesson from my brief interaction with Susan: Stop being so stressed out by meaningless things that will be irrelevant in short time. Appreciate and cherish the small things in life because you never know what you have until it’s gone TAKE A BREAK! It could end up helping you after all. Never stop being kind and caring and finally, Help people whenever you get a chance You never know what valuable lessons you can learn from helping people, and the end, both ends of the gratuity will receive a reward

I feel like I deserve more credit than I actually receive.  By no means am I saying that I’m all that, and I’m not saying this in a conceited way either.  It’s just not that easy to seem super happy and friendly, be nice to everyone, and work my ass of to get good friends while being super depressed at the same time.

Like I’m happy I am able to pull through and be resilient, and my life could be a whole lot worse if I didn’t know how to adjust as well. It just gets hard sometimes.